Networking has a bad reputation. The first thought that most people likely think of when they think of networking is a very transactional person. The type that thinks they are able to work an ask into a conversation, but it’s glaringly obvious what their intent is. It’s the equivalent to the stereotypical car salesman – there is an objective, regardless of the fit.
This was the idea that I had of networking as well. Maybe it was because networking doesn’t come naturally too me, or maybe the other way around. But I was reluctant to do it most of my life. I always believed that merit and competency will outweigh your network. And maybe it will. But what I’ve realized now is that it’s much better to have both in your corner – to be competent and be proficient at networking.
Despite the potential aversion to it, it’s likely that you took part in the process while in the military and didn’t realize it. Whenever you “made a call” or “pulled some strings”, that was all because of your network. Now, how that network was formed or why it existed may be different, but hopefully you can see the value in it.
While you transition you will likely hear people say something like “you need to network”, and there isn’t much beyond that. Here is why I think you should network: because it’s your cheat code. Let me explain:
Do the Work
Most people won’t do the work that is involved with networking. Networking (for most) is uncomfortable. It’s hard, there’s a lot of awkward moments, uncertainty, and rejection. However, you are putting yourself in a position where success will find you. If you are willing to admit that networking increases your chances at ‘success’ – and define that however you see fit – the more you do of it, the better your chances at success. This does not mean you abandon whatever other skills you bring to the table. Networking is a way to either diversify that skillset, or increase its reach by putting yourself in front of more people, increasing the likelihood of being able to demonstrate your skill. By doing the hard thing that others won’t, you put yourself ahead of those of equal skill level than you, and likely those that are more skilled.
You have a Built In Network
Being in, or from the military, you have a network built in. Unless you surround yourself with a military community after you leave the service (think VFW), you likely won’t run into many people that are veterans. According to Pew Research Center, only 6% of the population are veterans. And while branch, occupation, and experience will differ, you will likely find yourself eager to bump into other veterans. I found that there’s a good chance those veterans will be willing to help other veterans, or soon to be veterans. I cold messaged some 80 veterans while I was in the transition process, about 50% of those returned my message. I ended up on a phone call with about 90% of those. And none of them did any of that because it would benefit them. Some even straight up told me “I’m doing this because someone did it for me.” And I had no problem with that. There’s no need to pull the ladder up behind you – I think you’ll find a large portion of veterans will be willing to help, particularly other veterans.
Sell Yourself
If you hear this, it’ll likely make you cringe. It did for me. However, something you will need to learn about the private sector is that making money matters. And no matter the reputation that sales people have, they are the ones that make the money for the company that enable everyone else to have a job. Sales is important. Selling yourself is important. But selling yourself does not mean selling out. You can talk about your experience in a captivating, yet humble way. Even better if you have some cool stories. Find a way to work a cool story in to a networking scenario or interview. For example, I was interviewing for a cybersecurity position and I told a story about how I was a role player in a military exercise and witnessed a breakdown in communication. I told that story because whatever the question way, I wanted to answer with something along the lines of “communication is important.” That would have been a boring way to answer that question – instead, I gave an answer that stuck with the person I was speaking with.
Conclusion
When it comes to getting out and doing the networking, I’ll share something my Uncle told me years ago – he said, regarding networking and small talk – “It’s awkward for everyone, but someone has to do it.” And while it’s not that I didn’t believe him back then, I didn’t want to give myself a reason to try. That’s no longer the case. I also see networking as a skillset, one that can be improved. Listen to a podcast, read a book, say hi to the person in the elevator. Find ways to flex this muscle, then you can get the most out of this cheat code.